30 March 2011

The search...

Where is life...

Soulless is when one's dead;
No breathing in, No breathing out.
No regrets is of use then.
Being soulless cause no pain.

Mind, it just goes away.
Soulless body has no mind.
It might feel pain;
It cannot be hurt.

Lifeless; a never thought truth.
Breathing in and breathing out,
Its all so hurt,
With regrets all left with it.

Where would it go?,
With no life but a mind to look after.
It might feel no pain,
But it does get hurt.

Poor mortal body,
With life lost and mind heavy.
Drifts with the thoughts,
Towards a destination unknown.

Heavy mind's love to live
Adds flame to the fire.
Numb and weak are the thoughts
As it continues to search life.

Search for life,
Is what I do with time.
I don't live with this body
I exist; I search life.

Expectations; can't recall the meaning.
Have not expected in a while..
I just move, I don't wish to hope,
But I search life. Can't stop it, I just do it.

Where is my life....

24 March 2011

is there another hell?

This is not to win you back,

Or to ask for a second chance.

I know I was wrong,

I know that I broke the trust.

But this is certainly not an apology.

This is just me, talking,

like every other time; just talking.

This no plea for forgiveness

I know I don't deserve one.

and I hate myself for letting you down anyway.

I say that I'm strong,

but everytime I see you;

it kills me.

is it guilt or is it shame?

Or is it just love and respect confronting ?

it's not just hard; it's painful.

way too painful than I had imagined.

I thought I'd never understand hell.

I guess I do now.

Everytime you pass me on trying to avoid my eyes;

it crushes the heart out of my chest.

This is got to be hell.

The silence, the unspoken anger,

and the way you try to ignore me...

Makes me feel like disappearing.

The only light is that it can't go any worse.

or could it?

could there be another hell worse than this?

is there really another hell??