I remember it like yesterday.
3 in the morning, we were out, for a hunt, we named
It was a dingy alley where the cabby pulled over.
A semi-lit building with crooked men and beautiful women.
Sad but beautiful...
We were turning sober, and were not liking it.
We had our bargain, a good one that was.
five hundred apiece, an hour,
each a woman of our pick.
Reluctant as we were, we made our pick.
Each a different choice.
Choice! the lowest any man can stoop down to I thought...
I did not say it aloud, I acted excited. That day,
that day was our big adventure day!
Adventure I thought, I wanted to kill myself and all men there!
How low us men can stoop down to!
I picked a girl, the most somber one.
Didn't know why, I just liked her.
In, we went to an even dull-lit room.
Small, shabby and ever so disgusting now I recall.
She sat and stared.
I had a feeling she would cry.
Cry and kill at the same time.
Never once had I seen such emotions in any eye.
It was deep, dull, mellow and angry,
yet, there was a hint of a long gone light.
She took off her shirt.
How old are you I asked.
25, she lied and I smiled.
Put on your shirt I said.
I'm sorry, I lied, she said terrified.
I smiled again, she was true this time.
Five minutes gone already she said.
I lactate, so be gentle she said.
I just sat and stared.
I wanted to scream, to rip those souls outside apart.
Yet I sat and stared.
I'm 20 I said, and my name.. I started
Don't! she said. 15 minutes gone - she said.
What's your name I asked.
Lie, it's good I said.
She just sat and stared.
20 minutes gone I said.
She blinked twice and held back a smile.
She hastefully unbuttoned my shirt.
I made her lie down with all clothes on.
Sleep I said, I will wake you up in 30 minutes.
She stared even more.
She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.
I stared, stared for a long while.
What I saw tore my heart and I cried.
It tears me apart till this day.
I saw a beaten lady.
I saw a teenage girl with hopes and dreams.
A young girl, beautiful,innocent and mischievous.
An adorable little baby in her mother's arms.
I saw her and I cried.
I did not know if she was asleep.
She clutched her stomach as if in pain.
She was in pain.
My hand acted on its own.
It reached her forehead, and she opened her eyes.
I hated myself and the hopeless band called society that I lived in.
Only ten minutes to go then she said.
Only ten minutes to go I repeated.
She got up and ruffled my hair.
Thanks she said. Sorry I said.
You're a good man I think she said... I know I am not, I said.
Good man, and a fool too.
That, I am I said and she smiled again.
Out came a knock on the door.
Five minutes it cried.
I closed my eyes and leaned back...
I was fourteen she said.
It was 6 years ago.
He took me, took all of me.
And he gave me a child in exchange she said.
And with that he sold me she said.
I never saw the baby she said.
It was gone - they said.
I cried, and cried for a week,
and another week.
But then I was too weak to cry.
To cry and to have men twice my size and age on me she said.
I emptied my wallet and the only and last ring I had worn,
kept it all on the bed by her.
She said - too late for mercy to help don't you think?
It isn't mercy I said.
You could have lied.. - she said.
I should have lied... - I didn't...
With that she leaned and kissed me on my cheek,
It was gentle and painful, I felt it, she didn't wish to leave.
Neither did I. I kissed her on the forehead.
She told her name.
The name then nobody knew and noone ever will.
I never told any of them.
Never will I ever tell them any of it.
Out when I came, nothing happened, I told them.
And we believe you they said...
I was lying, they knew.
I was lying, it was true.
Of what - only I knew. I and her...
Often I pay those women on these dark alleys today for nothing.
I pay, and I walk away.
Maybe I am a fool, maybe I am not.
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