29 April 2015

You belong there

Ever been on a beach? Watching the waves crash?
One after another.

You see the next one forming up...
and you think every wave tries to get you.

Sometimes you like it, sometimes not
But you keep looking at them - you can't stop...

These waves, they're wondrous!
Forget the science, think of the thrill, the menacing roar!
Yet, they calm you down...
You feel you belong there - with them.

Eerie silence and darkness creeping around,
but the horizon reminds you that the world is out there.

It's open and you're a free spirit - you're not trapped.

Next time you see the world shrinking around you,
look at the sky - there's nothing locking you in
and the sea's out there, under the sky, not too far from you!

Go.

Find yourself at home one more time.

05 November 2014

The way we are...

Feeble, weak, fragile, and stupidly condescending
failed, fake and weirdly masking a fake pride
we've turned everything that ever was meant to be
to something that even nature wouldn't have attempted to give a chance!
We are not good the way we are...

What organs do, we don't know
when they go wrong, we don't know!
consciousness, a big joke...
conscious, about what?
images processed by a thing that's not even completely evolved?

Trust me when I say, we're not good the way we are!

Seeing what's going out there
knowing what it all could be
predicting, analyzing, knowing things!
knowing thing!! - kill me now... knowing things!
knowing things, delusional we are, and worst, denial we are in!

Call me trash and stop right here, but we are not good the way we are...
can't control the way blood flows
can't stop a tissue from overgrowing
can't even know when something stops functioning - consciousness my rear!
sentience, I can't even manage to laugh at the thought of it!

But you can when I say we're not good the way we are...

Way we are, my fellow blob
that's what you are, that's what I am
blob, the way we are is the least place where any evolved creature can be in here!
sadly, that's where we are
truth is, that's where you are

Where I am or what I am?
Not where you are
and I'm certain, not even close to what you are...
I am nothing I mocked up there... I'm not
I'm not and you know the reason!
I'm not because you never even thought of any of it... let alone smirk!

I am smirking, and I hope you all vanish.

Truth is, I know you all will - the way you are, you shouldn't be here...

Trust me, you won't be.

09 October 2014

Lonely Train

On a lonely train... and the tracks don't end.
It just moves, on and on, and on...
I'm here in it; the only one in it.
A lonely passenger on a lonely train I am

On an on I look, I look I see nothing
nothing but objects passing by, whizzing past
getting a glance, a single frame movie is what I am, to them...
But they, they make it all seem alive to me. Momentum, keeps me awake.

On a distant land I fancy, there is a station I'd stop at
The distant land I've looked forward to for ages
I never reached, never stopped...
Deep down I know, I never will; that distant land doesn't exist!

Vision vivid and ears buzzing
I yearn for something to see, to make sense
Should I jump? I can't decide
what's out there anyway! it's all but still...

17 July 2014

Through The Roof of Glass

Looking through the roof of glass
I wonder if they see us down from the heavens
Wonder what they see...
Wonder if they know what we know...
Of the dreams, the sorrows,
Of little happiness, of pain unspoken...

Through the roof of glass...
Is it possible to hear the hearts?
Of the silent cries for help? The longing for love?
Do they tenderly smile and nod?
Or do they mock and smirk?
Are they up there wondering!?
Wondering why we do, what we do the way we do?

Through the roof of glass, do they know?
That what's seen isn't all real?
That smiles deceive?
That they hide agonies and evil alike?

Miles and miles above
through the non-existent roof of glass...
Do they really believe that this is all a show to them?

Well then let's smoke all our skies
and choke ourselves down
Down, with a sick pleasure
That finally, they up there,
don't get the perverted pleasure by eyeing us anymore...

29 January 2014

Worthy of love?

Am I worth it?
I really doubt it.
If I were, you would have seen it somehow, at some point of time.
I'm not.
I'm not it.
I'm not that thing you like... not even close.

This whole me?  It's wrong.
Nice guy? Curse that! Not even close...
I'm that you like being around;
I'm that you like talking to,
I'm that you fight with...
that you can rely on.
I'm that friend.
A friend I am.
I am that you pity on.
That is who I am...
A friend you pity on.

I am not what you truly deserve!
Not even as a friend, forget being a lover...
I'm not that.
I,
I know I am not that.
Every time I breath in, I remind myself of that...
I am not that.
Every time I breath out, it kills me...
that I am not that.

I don't know why it's that!
I pray I could change;
I pray I could be that... you know...
I try, desperately, shamelessly, to not to pray!
But I am that.
It is that irrevocable.
I try, I fail, and I try and I fail...
I can't blame you... I blame me.
Blame be on me, but I can't cease to exist either!

I'm scared!
I'm scared I won't remember you if I don't exist...
I choose to live... be agonizing as it may...
I wish to live; and know you till I can.
I'm sorry I am this!
I know it's repulsive... even be disgusting!
But I am this...
I'd rather be gone, than be this...
I love you and I'm sorry I do!
I love you, I can't help it.

I'm sorry I am this... I don't like this me either...
I will change I promised.
I will change, I promised myself too...
But I've known me for so long!
I'm not good at keeping promises...

I will be gone till I change I said.
So will I, till I change.
If, and when I come back,
please let me back in...
I know it is far-fetched!
I know I am this... I know I don't change...
But I honestly wish I do.

I wish I do, and I wish that I could have that again...
I wish I could have that little space in you.
Little, insignificant, but I wish I get that again.
I wish it all truly...
I wish I would be there with you for like forever
I wish I will never drink myself to sleep
I wish that you, sometimes, even for a minute, remember me...
and I wish, if, and when you do, you smile a little!
I wish it all, and I wish it all come true...

But above all, I wish somewhere there exists another universe;
I wish somehow you're with me!
I wish I'd be worthy of your love there,
and I wish you love me there...
I wish it all happens there.
But even there, if it costs me what it costs me here,
I wish that universe ceases to exist...