Again...

Time and again,
I go through this.
I'm sorry I couldn't ask you how things are.
I couldn't ask what's bothering you.
I couldn't tell you to calm down.
Or just tell you it'll all be alright.
I'm sorry I messed things between us.
I messed so bad; it's far beyond repair now.
I know we can't walk back.
So I've been tryin to remove the past.
But, end of the day,
it all ends up at exactly where I'd begun.
I just couldn't stop caring.
I'm sorry again, for not having the guts
to tell you I'm sorry in person.
I'm sorry again, for having the weirdest dignity.
I'm afraid I will be sorry,
if I don't say goodbye when I leave.
So here I say once again...

You won't like it when you get it...

Over and over and over again...
this keeps happening.
Taking me granted I'm cool with that.
Messing up with my dignity thing?
you're done.
You don't know me people.
I'm of a different class.
I'm not cheap,
I'm dirty.
And disgusting.
This my friends are wrong.
Wrong for three things.
First it makes me think,
then it get me angry,
and then I don't really like getting angry.
Getting back at you now isn't hard.
But that's not me.
But I'm not gonna miss some sweet servings of revenge either.
Revenge, buddies, is best served cold.
and time, dears, is a friend of mine.
It bides its time to use the full of me.
And it has never seen failure in me.
Watch your back better right from now.
Time will use the sly me on you.
You won't like it when it does.

Hate me more...

Hey Mr. Fate!
why do you hate me so much?
Everytime I get close to something;
you throw me away from it.
You throw me so far away
I couldn't even find my way back to it.

Everytime I need someone so badly
You get them away, so far away
They wash those memories of me off clean!
Why do you hold this grudge on me?
Just because I never blame it on you
You think I don't remember you?

Everytime I'm so confused,
when I need that someone
to listen to me,
You make them so busy;
getting a glance from them
goes like blizzard in the desert!

Everytime you show me a destination
with more than one road to take.
I always choose the one less traveled.
And it's getting harder and harder.
This time, I'm really not sure
if I even want to get to that place!

Whenever someone wonders

why does this fate thing hate them so much!

I always say that
this fate is a friend of none.
Giving you a taste of your own medicine.
I'll make people hate you and I hate you too.

And here it is this time.
You're not fooling me around.
This time I decide my destiny.
I know where I want to go
and I'm taking the route I feel like taking.
Yes I said it, in your face.

So hate me, hate me more.
I don't really care anymore.

Me.. blabbering again...

An acquaintance, a guy you knew;
that's who I am now.
Taking it easy, isn't really working out for me.
I thought it would.
But it turns out I'm wrong; yet again.

Guilt is the most deadliest punishment.
And when there's nothing to make it up to;
it's even more agonizing.
The way I hate myself for letting you down
makes me want to rip myself apart.

Sometimes when I miss you madly
I go out and just start walking
with no place to go.
And I always end up losing my way.
Been lost a lot lately, just the way I lost you.

But there're always ways
to get back home.
You don't know how desperate I am
to have just one single way;
to get back to you.

It's weird but I can sense your presence at times.
It kills me when I don't look up and look at you.
Trying to just ignore!
Who am I kidding?
That's the last thing I could do.

I don't even know why I write such stuff.
Maybe because it's more like talking to you.
Reminds me of those good old times.
Clear days those were.
A loser I am to have it lost in time.

I wonder these days.
Would I get to say goodbye when I go.
For the last time and in person!
And  I don't see any prospects there.
So here I do it.

If  you ever get to read this; please know that.
I really wanted to say it to you.
You may have erased me from your minds.
I haven't, you're not in my memories.
You are the memory and there's no one replace you.

Yup :(

Oh yea...

Been there before...
Being nice and being there,
For a friend or as a friend.
Staying there just being sweet.

Done that before.
Everytime I let them down,
or  so they say so.
It feels so weirdly  weird.

Why is it it's always me;
that even I myself blame on?
The nice guy face
is the most painful to keep on of all.

And it's even more painful
when I try ripping it off.
It's just me, I guess.
Or is it the world which's got issues?

Everytime I go down this  bottomless abyss,
I blabber stuff like this.
And everytime I meet someone new.
It happens all over again.

And everytime I think that
this role is too hard to play;
I also convince myself that
it's too beautiful to say no.

Yup, I'm mental.
And I go madder when go through this.
And by God I swear,
this has always been the hardest to endure.

And  yet I got myself into this hole,
one more time.
And I wish, just like the last time.
This would be last of it.