Me.. blabbering again...

An acquaintance, a guy you knew;
that's who I am now.
Taking it easy, isn't really working out for me.
I thought it would.
But it turns out I'm wrong; yet again.

Guilt is the most deadliest punishment.
And when there's nothing to make it up to;
it's even more agonizing.
The way I hate myself for letting you down
makes me want to rip myself apart.

Sometimes when I miss you madly
I go out and just start walking
with no place to go.
And I always end up losing my way.
Been lost a lot lately, just the way I lost you.

But there're always ways
to get back home.
You don't know how desperate I am
to have just one single way;
to get back to you.

It's weird but I can sense your presence at times.
It kills me when I don't look up and look at you.
Trying to just ignore!
Who am I kidding?
That's the last thing I could do.

I don't even know why I write such stuff.
Maybe because it's more like talking to you.
Reminds me of those good old times.
Clear days those were.
A loser I am to have it lost in time.

I wonder these days.
Would I get to say goodbye when I go.
For the last time and in person!
And  I don't see any prospects there.
So here I do it.

If  you ever get to read this; please know that.
I really wanted to say it to you.
You may have erased me from your minds.
I haven't, you're not in my memories.
You are the memory and there's no one replace you.