I'm Here and I Will Be There

Oh it took a while to come back.
To get to where it all started.
To look further like I used to.
It took more than a while, it did.

Hiding from myself,
and trying to ignore existence!
Trying hard not to notice that
I had been slipping away.

It took a little longer to realize these.
Anticipation, anxiety and choosing despair.
I should have seen myself doing it.
I reckon I had, and I know I pretended that I hadn't.

But I can't fool myself.
I'm way too smart for myself.
With myself, I have always been egoistic.
I am the only thing I fail to be in harmony with,

Now it is all done and gone.
It took longer than usual to realize that
what I have is what I chose.
And what I choose makes me who I am.

Maybe that is how God imagined it all.
Maybe that is why he doesn't let us imagine.
Maybe memories make our being.
Memories that run through veins.

Now I choose to make things happen,
like I usually do.
Now I choose to be there,
and see the end.

This, I know is not a late comeback.
I know there is an end to time.
An end to our lands.
And end to our existence.

But I choose to be there when it comes.
I choose to hear it when the whistle is blown.
I choose to listen when time says
you're time is up.

I believe death is definite.
But I choose to live all through time.
And see death coming, when I really want it to.
It could take a hundred years, or a thousand.

But I will be there.
One way or another,
God willing, I will be there.
I just chose to.

it is

What is it that I feel!
This ticklish pain on my chest
I'm at peace and I float
I'm calm and I feel it now
It is of a new kind of feeling
A sensation like never before
Is it love?
No, I've been in love before
this isn't love
Is it compassion?
no it can't be
I've felt that before too
Could it be a void of some kind?
that I mistakenly enjoy?
I don't reckon,
if it is a void afterall
I would have delved deeper.

It is the strangest of all
It is a new kind of joy
A joy with pain
The pain that soothes
It is but realization I dare say
It is belief I believe
It is submission, I conclude


This faith that knock time and again
keeps me running
it keeps reminding me
that there is light
there is light,
for darkness needs light for its very own existence 
there is light
because if all places are dark
then no place is dark


This light that I have inside
keeps me walking
The very light which makes me feel this
right here on the chest
it makes me write
it shows no borders
it shows no rules
it just sits there lighting itself, and me
listening to me
it listens and I know it understands
is it an angel?
well it could be
or it could just be another alter of me
but its there
it knows no grammar 
it knows no words
but it communicates
it talks with my mind
and I am but my mind
and I comprehend


It keeps me awake
blows air into me
and makes me believe in God. 

Randomly Freaking!

I, am a believer
I, know science
Science much much more than my atheist brothers
But, I am a believer
I see things, things that everyone sees
I have seen things, things you wouldn't want to see in all hells
I have seen nature.
Nature like you have never imagined.

I have lived with her.
I have lived with her like you had never thought possible.
I have seen streams flowing,
flowing and trying to take me away with them.

I have seen mountains.
Mountains big and with sheerest of cliffs.

I have seen woods.
Woods at ages when you had the least idea what they are

I loved them, and I still do.
They loved me more and they still do.

And so they tried to take me with them.
they still try to take me away.

But I still breath. Breath their air.
Taunting them with my faith,

I still breath and - I
as hard as it may seem, am still alive;
full and whole and full of pride.

I, the son. The legitimate one,
still live to tell the tales.

And so they love me more,
but I still live on and,

I know the tales.
I sin, I change.
I keep sinning and I keep changing,

But then nature is worried.
She's got powers endowed upon.
But she can't use them on me.
She, is scared;

not that she would lose me.
She knows she's a part of me.
She's scared she would lose.

She has no experience losing.
I do, and I cope.
I do and I avoid.
She's not,
and so she's worried.

And I am now, set on a mission.
A mission to outlive her.
And I will. I can't leave her alone.
I want her gone before I'm gone

And I'm going nowhere.

I am good

Too Bad to Ask?

I see phony faces and prejudice,
and an out of date culture.
I see envy, I see greed and I see hatred.
Am I the only one who feel the way I feel now?
With full of shame and disgust!?

There are a billion of us
and we brag trash.
Is it too much to expect some hearts?

Claiming lands - we hail humanity.
Lost in pride - have we lost all humility?

Love and peace and more of bluff;
all for children I do realize.
But how is a little faith and compassion too much to ask?

Do you see grown men dressed, and playing balls with sticks?
Don't you miss being real men?

Tampered systems and wannabe citizens;
do you see any hope for this country?

Where's all the life gone?
Where did our fathers go wrong?
Why are we still stuck with all cliché?
Why are we still herded by morons?
Most of all, why are we a failure as a nation?

Screw You - Life

Life hates me

Life tries too hard
and it hates me.

All the tests and all the scores,
all along the path.
Path to where I am now.

Life keeps trying to weed me out,
but O No, I ain't no creeper.
I have roots;
roots older than life itself.

I know the fact of the matter:
Life's mad at me.
Because life's lost,
it tries, and it tries too hard.
Only to lose again.

All the hurdles that it put;
I broke them.
I could have just crossed over them,
but Oh No, I had to break them.

Life's got rules to follow.
And I don't,
that makes life hate me.

Life hates me,
because life's the only thing I keep blamin.
but what do I know!
Life's not that strong.

Life hates me because it feels weak,
because I feed on it.
I have been sucking its soul out.

Life, a funny little word!
I have been riding on it, and
never once would I let it ride me.
It despises me
it could never win.
There are never the arguments
It's all statements.
I state, and life listens.

Looking back at it;
all of the things it put me through!
All of the weapons:
the angers, the misery, pains and the tears -
nothing broke me.
It all touched me.
Sometimes too deep and sometimes too scarring,
but nothing could break me.

I disarm; I overcome,
and that is why
it hates me.

Life's a bitch.
It keeps trying to screw me
over and over again.
But I don't give in.

With all its baits:
the hunger, the pride, love and booze and blood, and all the dreams;
but Hell No! I don't fall
not even a sniff.

I'm strong and life's not,
it hates me for that.
Life's a coward,
it can't accept defeat.
I can, I have the heart.
I can, and I can get up again and fight.
Life can't and that's what makes it hate me.

Life's too feeble,
it's too short and it's confined.
I am all the synonyms of their antonyms.
I have limped for miles and miles;
limp, not just walk,
only to prove life wrong.
Life's wrong and that makes it hate me.

Life's needy,
it needs me for its existence.
It's evolved and it needs me/

I don't, I was created.
I was created without a life.
without a history, without a course.
I puzzle life, it's scared of my enigma.
Life doesn't like mysteries, it's stupid.
It can't like me so...
it hates me...

Life's arrogant, its a bully,
it loves playing people like balls.
Now it can't do it to me,
It doesn't have the balls to play me.

Life's tired and is too proud,
but To the Hell with its pride and,
Damn its conceit.

Life hates me because
I'm too Tough for life.

So...